Martin McFriend

Him: I am the soup ladle, I am the honeycomb.

Me: What did you just say?

Him: I lord, you lay.

Me: Dude, relax.

Him: I see the black vultures, hovering. You own the dirt.

Me: Can you just shut up for a minute? There are a lot of good looking chicks around.

Him: I am the sea snail, I am the manatee, I am the walrus.

Me: Did you just sing a Beatles lyric?

Him: Cower before the prophet. Make thyself comfortable on a bed of rock and mites.

Me: That’s pretty weird…Damn, I’m hungry.

Him: Understand the wrath as it relates to thine own demise. Recognize the mystery. Feel the vibration.

Me: Ok, seriously, that was Marky Mark.

Him: I am the grape fruit. I am the blacktop.

Me: Did you just see that bumper sticker? It said “Look Twice, Gudgeons Are Everywhere.”

Him: Peer into the fathoms, deny it not and destiny shall return its just favors.

Me: You know, I seriously can’t remember if I took a shit yesterday.

Him: The endless is upon you. And between us naught, before us, never.

Me: What time is it?

Him: Epoch of desert, trifle of continuum, norge.

Me: That guy is seriously selling oranges in the middle of the street. How much money do you think he can pull in a good day?

Him: A million galaxies, nothing, cups of the bittersweet, terror in the apple core.

Me: Fuck it, I still have a half an hour. Let’s get a taco.

Him: Boundless destruction, habitation of flame, albino of liberty, nudity of yesterday, manacle of tears, peanut butter. Know it thus.

Me: I need new shoes.